Youth

Spare a thought for your parents Part 2

2008-11-16T08:25:00.002+08:00

In 2007, I wrote about this family, Mr and Mrs S with 2 sons A and B, well now, I have the sequel.

A is now working quite comfortably in a stainless steel company as a marketing executive. From what I heard, he gives some money to his mum and dad. Now, B. He is working currently as a delivery assistant. His work normally finishes about 4pm or so depending on whether they have delivered all the goods to the companies.

B earns about RM1200 per month, despite that, he doesnt pay for the car installment. Whenever he receives the letter from the bank, he ignores it and pretends that it doesnt exist. Once, A, the elder brother saw the letter and read it. He told his parents about it. Mrs S was furious, B had the installment lapsed for a month. A gave Mrs S money to pay to the bank, after all Mrs S was the guarantor. B lends his cars to his buddies. And when there is a traffic summons, he asks money from Mr S to pay the summons. A is hopping mad as B is simply abusive of the parents.

The other day, Mrs S was seen cleaning the car. B was sleeping at home. And from what I heard, Mr and Mrs S has been cleaning the car for B. B has refused to clean the car. When the car has no petrol, he gets the money from either the father or the mother.

Just a reminder, Mr S is a delivery assistant, he is now 70 years old, he has dreams of going on the China Tour with his wife. .......

Do think of your mother!!!!

2008-03-24T09:30:00.002+08:00

(During the weekend, I watch a movie from TV3 and at the same time, I am hearing 2 real stories about how people treat their mothers....its very shocking!)

Mr and Mrs M has 3 daughters and 1 son. Liza is the eldest of the lot, Leela is the second while Leena is the youngest. Lance is the only son. Mrs M worked as a cleaner (household). For the past 15 years and until now, she is still cleaning the houses despite the fact that Liza, Leela and Lance is now working. Mrs M used to work for about 3 houses the whole day to earn about RM1200 a month. Quite sometime back Mrs M got a contract to clean the factory's hostels for RM900. There was one day, I saw her hands and feet were blotchy. She says its due to the cleaning. Sometimes, she does complain of back pain. Mr M is working as a sub-contractor - doing construction work. Mr M is not a regular worker - well, he works according to his moods - in short, when he feels like it. (No mood, no do!)

Liza got married about 7 years ago. She is now a mother to 3 very cute children, Mary the elder daughter will always greet me, Auntieeee in a very high pitch voice....she used to call my mum auntie, until she realise, there could not be 2 aunties....so she greets my mum....grannyyyyyy......and so my dad becomes grand pa la.... Mike is the second child, very cute also - a little bit shy...but always eager to smile that very cute and innocent smile. Matt is the youngest one.....a little bit shy...like the brother.

When Liza got married 7 years ago to Sam, well its like one of the soap operas. Sam was in love with someone else, Cathy. Cathy's parents didn't want him as Sam was jobless at the moment so Cathy's parents felt that he will not be in a position to take care of their daughter. So Sam..went out with Liza. Liza knew of Sam's love and fought hard for it. Their marriage was arranged very fast as to prevent the stomach from showing. During this time, Liza's parents took care of the 3 little kids. Mary will start wailing if Mr and Mrs M went out without her. Mr M used to take her out on his trusty bike. Since everyone is staying together, Sam offered to give money to Mrs M, but Liza told Sam - its not necessary! So everything, Mrs M has to pay! Mrs M swallowed the first bitter pill. The second bitter pill was Mr M did not want to work - and only work for certain projects - and so Mrs M has to work very hard to pay for 2 households - hers and the Liza's.

Just about six months ago, another quarrel surfaced - about money again. This time, Sam answered Mrs M very rudely - Mrs M slapped him across the face and told him never to step inside the house again. With that Sam left the house. Three months later, Auntie May saw something and quickly called Mrs M. Sam got married to Cathy without the knowledge of Liza! It seems that Cathy divorced her family to be with Sam. And they are staying just about 15 minutes drive from where Mr and Mrs M is staying.

Liza went to confront Sam. So Liza went to stay in that house together with Cathy and the 3 kids followed as well. One day, Liza saw Cathy feeding her 3 kids with instant noodles and Liza was fuming! Liza told Cathy and Sam off! Sam got annoyed and slapped her blue black infront of the 3 kids! Liza called her mum tearfully. Back at the house, Liza was very rude again to Mrs M and to Leela. So now, Mrs M and Liza do not talk to each other. Even Leela also refuses to talk to Liza. Leela and Liza is working at the same building but Liza refuses to let Leela sit inside the car! She asked Leela to find her own transport! Liza has forgotten that during the 7 years, Leela helped to take care of her 3 kids!

Has Liza forgotten about the sacrifices made by the mum!

Time to exercise your rights

2008-03-07T15:56:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow March 8, 2008 is a very important date. One of the reason...my former student getting married. I am very happy for her. One funny thing about all these marriages is that, you will suddenly realise that you will be related. Guess what, her uncle is my husband's cousin and so she is now my niece and I am her aunt!

The second most important thing is, March 8, 2008 is another day for all eligible Malaysians to exercise their rights as a citizen of the country. Voting represents one of the foundations of a democratic country. In the dictionary definition, democracy "is government by the people in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system." In the phrase of Abraham Lincoln, democracy is a government "of the people, by the people, and for the people." So, in other words, we will be electing people who we think will be able to serve us, to ensure that they will see us through the years ahead.

THE PILLARS OF DEMOCRACY

Sovereignty of the people.
Government based upon consent of the governed.
Majority rule.
Minority rights.
Guarantee of basic human rights.
Free and fair elections.
Equality before the law.
Due process of law.
Constitutional limits on government.
Social, economic, and political pluralism.
Values of tolerance, pragmatism, cooperation, and compromise.

(Source : Defining Democracy: http://usinfo.state.gov/products/pubs/whatsdem/whatdm2.htm)

Freedom?

2008-03-04T09:11:00.004+08:00

This is entitled "Freedom" with a question mark just to remind us that sometimes not everything is "freedom". Many people have said that now, the youth have got freedom to do whatever they want. To a certain extent its true. However, if we look closer, sometimes youth have to behave in a manner that society permits. Hence, are we free? But are these behaviour necessary?

This story is about a family of 6, father, mother and 4 children, 3 girls and a boy. This story describes a situation when they had a very joyous event - one of the daughters got married. Indeed, all parents dreams of this day when their pride and joy is making them proud.

In a typical chinese wedding scenario, the groom and his entourage will come to the bride's house to "fetch" the bride. The "fetch" is not so easy as it seems. The groom seems to need the "approval" of the bride's "bodyguards". .......Hey, they are here...shouted Sam, the youngest of the family, also the only son. Everyone got excited. "Ok, everyone this is the plan, Sister Shirley you stall him (the groom) at the front door, while we fix the props"...he he he he this would be grand...declared Sam. Sam went off to prepare the "props"...2 hula hoops and 2 milk bottles!

"Ok...my future brother-in-law"...called out Sam to Ben, the groom, ..."This is what you need to do....we are now going to compete...who will be faster...... on our side..we have Mei Mei who will do the hula hoop for us...now you need to choose someone to do it..if no one volunteers...you do it!" Ben looked alarm, he was not prepared for this, his suit is all white! White shows dirt very easily...and this is only 9am in the morning...they have more events towards the day. Luckily, Ah Fatt volunteered. However, Mei mei won, Ah Fatt was out of practice. Sam sniggered and said, "looks like this is 1 - 0 for the girls side"..."now for the 2nd event...the milk bottle"..."we want to see how fast you drink the bottle..."...This time Ben was smarter, he ripped the cap and drank the milk. Sam said, "okay...now it seems its 1 - 1...Since, its your day, we let you win...but you need to do a declaration of your love for my sister." .....Sam pushing a piece of paper to Ben. Ben is supposed to use lipstick and to declare whatever its written loudly. ......Now Shirley (the sister) took over. Ben played along and declared his undying love. Shirley shouted out..."hey thats not loud enough...say it louder". This went on for about 30 mins....and while this is going on, the groom's entourage seemed annoyed with this play. The groom's aunt muttered softly, "just ask her whether she wants to be with you as the wife, if she does not answer, lets go back." ....And finally, Shirley relented...and...the ceremony carried on. Sam was unhappy as he was not able to carry on whatever plans he had. When Sam was reprimanded by his elders, he glared at the elder and said .."Now its my turn to do this, next time, other people will do on me....so we will be even". ....

Then the whole team, comprising of the groom and bride side went to the restaurant for the lunch. Sam...was very happy....as his sister got married....he went around pouring liquor all around.....encouraging them to drink.....and Sam drank along with them. Sam's face was getting red as a lobster! .....Still....he went along pouring and drinking. Many of the elder relatives were unhappy with Sam's behaviour......Why?

Sam was at that time 17 years old!.......

(All these actions which Sam did is unnecessary. There is no need to make a fool of the brother-in-law, although some tastefully done activities can be played to make the event happier...but all these has a certain limit. To you is happiness....but have you thought of other people? ....All those "botttoms up" drinking, is it necessary to show to people that you can drink and still be alright?)

It does not come from trees

2008-01-02T15:44:00.000+08:00

This story is focused mainly to those who are still studying. This student came and told me her story which I felt rather sad.

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N came to me one evening. She told me she had to quit her studies. I asked her why. She told me that she is financially tight. At that time, she was in her second year of studies and had one more year to go. She does not have enough money to pay for her tuition fees. She needs about RM15,000 a year for her studies. Initially, her father and elder sister said they will see her through. Infact, when she told me her decision to quit, her father and elder sister didnt know about it. I advised her to seek study loans. She said it is pointless as they will still be in a big problem, as the loan needs to be repaid.

She told me her father was working as a lorry assistant and she saw how tired her father looks after each delivery. And every night, the mother had to put all those medication on her father's tired muscles. Her father always put up a brave front so that she will continue to study hard. She has not missed any classes. There was a time, when she was using 2 sweaters, she was sick but she refused to miss any classes. She said, all this is money and she said her money didnt come from the tree nor does it fall from heaven. (Those were her exact words)

Also, her elder sister wanted to buy a house for the family (the current house is rented), so her sister needed the money to pay for the instalments.

The moral of the story is "please be appreciative." There are other people who does not have this opportunity to further their studies.

A Problem

2008-01-01T10:08:00.000+08:00

I have termed this as "A Problem" because the problem is a real problem and that until now, I am not sure what to title it. This story is about my observation of a student and how she relates to me about her life. (As I have always mentioned, all names have been altered and they are by no means to insult anyone just to remind everyone not to fall into this trap)

D is about 19 years old now, just finished her diploma course. I met her while she was studying. Many a times, I wanted to know more about her, but she kept on delaying it. She said, I would not understand her. Finally one day, we sat down and we talked.......

D comes from a quite well to do family, both her parents are working. She has 3 older sisters and she is the youngest in the family. When she was young she was looked after by her god mother, who is the mother's sister. When she grew older, her mother brought her back home to the house. She noticed that the 3 older sisters didn't want to communicate much with her. Even her father only talked to her on "official grounds." D started to mix around and met W in a party. W showered D with a lot of attention. D liked this as she didn't have that at home. W on the other hand, took opportunity of this. To cut the story short, D has had 2 abortions already and D's parents are unaware of this situation. D told me, if the parents knew, they would "kill" her.

Anyway, D got tired of W as she always had to give in to W and W was starting to mentally abuse her by saying how useless she is. D met G at the college. G was slightly better than W. D thought G was her true love. Well, G was only good in getting rid of W for D. After a short while, G left D, saying that they were not compatible. 2 months later, G asked D for forgiveness and asked to be together again. I told D that she is asking for trouble. This time round, D was smarter but D also cherished the hope that G will take her again. What G wanted was, D's car. G used D's car to move around town. Infact, G used D's car to go out with another girl!

So finally, D and G broke up, this time for good (I hope). Anyway, about 2 days ago, D called me and said that she was in the hospital. I asked D whether her parents knew about it, she said no. I was thinking to myself, what has happened to this family, are they communicating? When do children and their parents talk to each other?

Spare a thought for your parents

2007-12-31T21:29:00.000+08:00

This story which I heard about - only serves as a reminder to all of us to spare a thought for our parents. (Meanwhile, the persons so named in the story has been altered to protect the identity of the family. However, if it hits yourself, then please do the needful to your parents)Here is how it goes..

Mr and Mrs S have two sons. They loved them very much, they are willing to sacrifice a lot for them. The elder boy, A wanted to study. He felt that if he studied a lot or as high as possible, he would be the star in his family. B, the younger son, on the other hand, has always been the mother's pet. He preferred to earn more money, as much as he could. Mr S is working as a deliveryman, and he is close to his 70s. Mrs S is working as a seamstress, and is in her mid 60s. They lived in a one room flat.

A upon completing his SPM, told his parents that he wanted to continue his studies. He got himself enrolled in one of the private colleges in Malacca, but after a short while, he left, he said the lecturers were not up to his standard. He then persuaded the parents to send him to KL, by saying KL had more and better opportunities for him. And so he went. After 2 years of study, he returned with a diploma and now fully charged to start working. He started working in a small firm. One day, his boss asked him to assist the delivery guy. He was asked to carry the goods from the van to the firm. A was annoyed as his spanking white shirt is now dirty. A returned home and told his parents that that job is not suitable for him. And so he resigned. A spent several months at home, looking for a job. After he came back from an interview, he told his parents that one of the main reasons he could not get a job until now, is because he didn't not own a car. And so Mr S withdrew money from his EPF and bought his son a second hand Kenari. A was not happy. A's friend told him a bigger car is better than a smaller car. A's friend suggested a Waja instead of the Kenari. Mr S stressed that his financial status only covered that amount. Anyway, A is now quite contented with it.

And now, comes to B, the younger son. B a bit more outgoing than A, told the father that he wanted to start a handphone business. He said, its good money, small capital and good market. Mr S however, didn't respond to that. Hence, B a little unhappy, went to work for another company, this time selling accessories for cars. Since A got a car, B also wanted one. B used the mother as a middle person between him and the father. After all the persuasion and sweet talk, Mr S took out more money to pay for the car's deposit. B didn't want a second hand car, he wanted a new car. And so the new car arrived. No longer than a week, the car was "missing". B was terrified as he knew his father would scold him. He kept very quiet, pretending to be ill and lying in bed. Mr S sensing something a miss, asked the elder son to find out the reason. It seemed that B was involved in an illegal car racing. The spanking new car was hit! Both Mr and Mrs S has not sat inside the car yet!

Anyway, all these has happened for quite sometime. The car has now been repaired, of course came from the insurance. The moral of the story is, "please spare a thought for your parents." Yes, they love you unconditionally but please don't abuse them.

Is it a moments' folly or a well-thought out plan?

2007-12-20T07:51:00.000+08:00

While gaining experience at the corporate sector, I became more of a "people person". The term "people person" was given to me by my former Personnel and Administration Manager (now Human Resource Manager). During my interview with her with another person, she noted that I was more towards people and I like working with people. As such began the first change in my career. And now, in the "next change", out of the corporate world into the education industry, I noticed many things relating to youth, of which, I find very disturbing and alarming.

1) Relationship with older generation

I may be wrong in this. (Comments very much accepted) Many young adults (those within the age of 16 to 20) do not get along well with their elders (parents, grandparents and other older relatives). The term "generation gap" does it exists? Is there really a difference in opinion and thinking? I do agree that the environment has changed. But does that make a huge impact until the younger generation can not get along with the older generation. From my observations, I have noticed and heard these comments / remarks:

a) The parents are always the last person to know of their problems
b) My parents do not understand me
c) My friends say that going out with parents is not happening
d) We want to try new things
e) We are adventurous people
f) We want to be happening people

Many young adults tell me that they seldom confide in their parents. As they are afraid that their parents might nag at them, thus spoiling the mood at home. Personal issues like boy and girl are deemed to be "shy subject" or a "no no subject" to be discussed with their parents. Problems with their cliques at school is another issue that they will least discuss. Many a times, they will seek solace with their friends. I do agree that friends can play an important role. However, if the friends lead this person astray then what happens? Shouldnt the parents be in the know? Some of the young adults will say that, my parents will kill me! (metaphorically speaking) So they say, better tell my best buddy.

I have a story to share. A friend's friend shared with us her story. She was led astray by a playboy. She thought she was the most luckiest person. The guy was a rich man's son and so had the privilege of owning sleek cars and has a house of his own. They dated for a very short period. All of us were shocked when we were given the red card. Ten years later, they are apart. What I am trying to say is during the courtship, the parents were against the relationship saying oil and water dont mix but she was adamant saying thats her prince charming. Her "rosy world" lasted just a few months. Her prince charming was spotted with another person. And during the hard time, her parents were the one that brought and nurtured her back to sanity. She is doing pretty well now.

The moral of the story is, your parents are the one that will stick with you through thick and through thin. Never ever go against them, understand their reasoning. They have tasted more salts than you!

2) Starting a relationship

Meeting people is interesting. Finding someone that understands, cares and gives you all the attention is what many are looking for. However, finding THAT person is not as easy as it seems. As the axiom goes, never judge a book by its cover, likewise, when you meet the first person, never pass judgment without knowing this person properly. You could have missed what could have been a good friendship.

Many young adults like the lure of luxury, fast cars, fine dining and fame. After awhile, does all these stay? I once watched a film about a very rich girl, she fell in love with a monk! As the story goes, the monk is very handsome and so the rich girl fell for his good looks. The monk told her this,"now when I have my youth, you love me, what happens when I grow old and become wrinkled, bald and toothless, would you still have the same love as now"? Despite watching this movie 10 years ago, this part of the story line still remains vivid.

The moral of the story is ,"go slow". Enjoy your youth, take your time and develop long lasting friendship and relationship.

Life Long Learning Process

2007-11-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

A student spends a good proportion of their time in places of learning. 6 years in primary school, 7 years in secondary school and an average of 4 years as an undergraduate. This brings a total of 17 years, 19 years if including 2 years in nursery. If the student were to continue to the masters and phd programme, this will bring a total of an average 26 years.

Education does not just stop. Its a life long learning process. As the chinese saying goes, "che dao lao, xue dao lao," it basically means "eat till old, learn till old."

Friendship

2007-11-03T09:48:00.000+08:00

Most undergraduate programmes spreads over a period of 3 to 6 years depending on the nature of the course. During these time, students are expected to mingle around and get to know their coursemates better.

Friendship does not consider skin colour nor your religious beliefs. it considers your sincerity.

The get together bonds friendship.
The bonds helps students go through the trying times of studying. The madness of completing 6 assignments, the cramping of all the motivation theories and quest of getting good GPAs.

Graduation

2007-11-03T08:08:00.000+08:00

Graduation seems to be one of the most important stages in a youth. These are some photos of students graduating. Notice the smile in their faces.

The feeling of excitement spells in their faces. The undergraduate days filled with tests, assignments and exams. Even their families looks relieved!

Graduation also represents another important phase in a youth's life. Its the platform to the real world. While in the college or university, life evolves around books, library, librarian, lectures, tutorials, lecturers and also the internet. All these are only superficial compared to the real world.

In the real world, whatever learned from the many lectures or tutorials will be put to the test, with the results showing in seconds.

As the graduates embark on the real world, lets wish them great success in their future endeavour and may they have a good career ahead of them.

(This is the last batch of UNN students graduating from the college. Have taught them for 2 years, hence feeling satisfied and happy that they have finally graduated. )